I’ve been watching through Gilmore Girls lately, and I love the differences in parenting styles that the show portrays! The differences and similarities between all the women of Gilmore Girls was especially interesting. As a mom, I like to see what choices other moms make, and their thought process behind it. So watching Gilmore Girls, which has a LOT of moms in it, was really fun!
I looked up a list of all the different types of parenting styles (with the official names) and determined which mom of Gilmore Girls mommed in which parenting style. Which mom are you?
Mom like Lorelai
Positive Parenting/Spiritual Parenting
Lorelai Gilmore and her daughter, Rory, are best friends first, and mother/daughter second. Lorelai is Rory’s confidant, sounding board and all around friend. Lorelai sometimes will play the “mom card” when it’s necessary, but for the most part, she is Rory’s buddy.
Lorelai Gilmore follows positive parenting philosophy because she isn’t about strict rules and enforcing a specific list of things Rory can and cannot do. She’s more interested in being there for her daughter and being a role model for her. Lorelai wants Rory to be happy.
Lorelai Gilmore follows spiritual parenting philosophy because allows Rory to explore her own talents and interests. Rory wanted to go to Harvard from a young age, she was interested in cotillion, and a myriad of things that she, herself, literally ran away from in her youth. But she supported her in it, even if she didn’t totally agree.
Mom like Emily
Authoritarian Parenting/Narcissistic Parenting
Emily Gilmore is very into making rules, and big punishments when they are broken. She is the ultimate authority of the household, and what she says, goes. She rules over her household with an iron fist, and doesn’t allow for mistakes (you can especially see this in how many maids she goes through every season.)
Emily Gilmore is very into authoritarian parenting. It’s her way or the highway, basically. There’s no room for questions or revision. It’s just the way that she is. Her daughter rebels to this hard. She sneaks around, and eventually runs away.
Emily Gilmore also shows characteristics of narcissistic parenting. She sees her daughter as an extension of herself, so if her daughter screws up, it is on her. It is an embarrassment for Emily when Lorelai does something wrong.
Mom like Mrs Kim
Authoritarian Parenting/Helicopter Parenting
Mrs Kim is a very interesting character. She keeps Lane under her thumb and tries to control every aspect of her life, including setting her up with future doctors at 16 years old (when these boys are very far away from medical school). Mrs Kim has a very specific idea for what she thinks Lane’s life should be like, and tries to make it that way by force.
Mrs Kim is an authoritarian parent because of all of that. Lane has to keep her true self hidden because she doesn’t want to disappoint her mother. Mrs Kim has very specific sets of rules and insists that Lane follows them. There are no negotiations and Lane usually has to lie in order to do things that she actually likes. Mrs Kim is very old school in this way. She thinks that children should behave and not do a number of things that Lane ends up doing.
Mrs Kim could also be described as a helicopter parent. She’s very involved with Lane’s school, and keeps a watchful eye over all of her extra-curriculars. She’s very interested in helping Lane have a better life and wants to work with her to get it.
Mom like Sookie
I love Sookie St. James as a mom. She treats her children like they are people and not just babies. She supports them, and guides them, as opposed to making them do things and setting up rules. It is because of this that Sookie follows the positive parenting philosophy. She is raising her children by being a role model to them, and teaching them how to be grown ups.
Mom like Lane
We don’t see a lot of Lane as a mom, because her little ones are babies when the series ends. But I have no doubt that she follows unconditional parenting philosophies. She wants her children to have a different childhood than she has. She wants to encourage them in their interests and help them to grow. If that means going to church every Sunday, she will support that. Ultimately, Lane follows unconditional parenting style because of how she believes that her baby shower is her last party, because she is prepared to do everything for her babies. She puts a lot of herself aside for their well-being and that is fully unconditional parenting
Mom like Liz
Unresponsive Parenting – Jess
Positive Parenting/Unconditional Parenting – Doula
Liz Danes is an interesting character, too. When we know Jess in season 3, she is fully absent. She can’t handle him anymore and sends him to live with Luke. She pushes away all parental responsibility and lays it on her brother. I love Liz as a character, but she is kind of a flake. She depends too much on men who are totally wrong for her, and that leads her down the wrong path. I believe that she could have done better by Jess if TJ had gotten there earlier. TJ, though kind of an annoying character, is incredibly good for Liz. I think his presence helps her to be a better mom to Doula than she was for Jess.
Again, we only see Doula as a baby, but she seems to be a much better mama to her little daughter than she was to her son. She’s got all the latest gadgets for having a baby and puts her all into raising that little girl (while making jewellry on the side). We see a parent who sometimes needs a break (normal) but who keeps close watch on her daughter via monitor. Liz Danes follows positive/unconditional parenting for her daughter.
Mom like Sherry
I hesitate to even label Sherry under a specific parenting style. Sherry’s focus was her work, and she put that above her family … but it is also possible that Sherry suffered from Postpartum depression. They never really dive too deep into the whys when Sherry left for France, just that she didn’t want to mom anymore. But, none of her friends had babies yet, and she was in over her head. A lot of things could have influenced her move, and not just her daughter.
What do you think? Do you agree with these parenting styles for each of these women? Which one are you most like?