10 Love and Life Lessons from The Hills

So, because it was just finals week, I thought it would be a great time to start watching a tv series all the way through, naturally.  I decided to watch through The Hills!  I was really into it when it was on tv, and was curious to see if it was still something that I could watch and relate to as a person in her late 20′s, as opposed to someone much closer in age to the people on the show.  I saw a lot of things that maybe I replicated (or did before watching the show) that I wish I had someone to advise me against.  So here are the major lessons I gleamed from re-watching 5 seasons of The Hills:

1. Don’t be the girl that didn’t go to Paris (especially for a boy).
If your dream is to work in Fashion, apparently Paris is the place to be. Don’t pick a guy over getting to go work in Paris for the summer!  If that guy is worth it, he will still be there when the summer is over.  If he won’t wait for you for one summer (aka 3 months), is he really a good guy?  Is he really someone you want to be with? Don’t be the girl who didn’t go to Paris. Apparently, that stigma stays with you.

2. Hoes before bros. Uteruses before duderuses. Ovaries before brovaries.
If the guy you are dating is rude to your friends (and/or family) maybe don’t date them.  If they are constantly trash talking your best friends, or spreading rumours about them, or making you choose between them and your friends all the time: don’t date them.  It will cause a rift between yourself and your friends, and really… if the person you are dating is doing mean and nasty things to your friends, what makes you think that they won’t do similar things to you?

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3. People who say how much they hate drama are usually the ones to start it.
This one comes from both my own experiences and from watching the show. On the show, Heidi is always confused about why things are so dramatic, but you can see how it is her own actions that make things more dramatic.  When I was younger, I had lots of drama. I complained about it excessively. I created more drama. My life had drama because of me, myself, and I. I created it, and lived in it.  And complained about it.  It’s always been my experience that people who talk about how much they “hate drama” are usually the ones behind the drama in their life.  How did I stop having so much drama? I think that major life changes were huge in that, but ultimately I stopped putting myself in a situation where drama could be created.

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4. Relationship vacations should just be when you go on a vacation together.
“Relationship vacations” or breaks are pretty silly.  ESPECIALLY if they are happening all the time.  If you need to run away and go home to think about your relationship once, that’s one thing.  If you’re doing it practically every few months, that’s a problem.  Oh, and going off to think about your relationship, your life and what you want is totally fine.  But you have to actually DO these things! The major problem I saw with the relationships on The Hills is that they would be all “we’re on a break/relationship vacation” and then just go out all the time and behave single. That doesn’t fix your relationship, that doesn’t help you know what to do with your relationship. If you’re taking time off to think about your relationship, actually do that.

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5. Maybe don’t automatically believe that rumors you hear about your good friends are true.
Give your friend the benefit of the doubt.  If someone tells you something they heard about your friend, talk to your friend about it before simply believing it.  And if they tell you it’s not true, believe them.  If they laugh about how ridiculous it is, don’t assume that means it’s true.  How about just don’t assume.. because lets be real: it only makes an ass out of you.

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6. Listen to Brody.
Brody says some pretty smart things.  I think that in a lot of ways, the show would be way less dramatic if people had listened to his advice more.  If you have someone in your life who tells it to you straight, doesn’t get involved in drama, and doesn’t put up with bullshit, they might have some good advice.

7. Save some conversations to have when you’re sober.
This one seems like it should be common sense, but it seems like the people of The Hills have a LOT of conversations when they’re drunk that would be better left till they were sober.  Of course, this is probably because that is what the producers wanted, as it gives the show more drama, but in real life that is not a requirement.  If you’re upset or angry at someone, if someone has hurt you, talking to someone about it when you’re drunk will likely make the situation worse, not better.  Wait until you have your wits about you, then talk to them about it.  It’ll go way better.

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8. Date outside your friend group.
I know it seems like it makes sense. You hang out all the time anyway. You already know all of each others stories. And sometimes (SOMETIMES) it does work out.  HOWEVER, if you belong to a friend group that seems to only date each other, chances are, it’s not going to work.  If the guy/girl in your friend group has already dated someone else in your friend group, it’s probably a bad idea to pursue.  Like I said, it does work out sometimes, and can be great! But if your friend group is constantly dating each other, the chances of that happening goes way down (as seen on The Hills).

9. Know who you should be fighting against.
It seems to me that this show is a lot about girls fighting with other girls, when in reality (lawl), it was the boys who were doing the bad things.  Lauren knew that Heidi wasn’t really the problem, it was Spenser. I just think that there is a whole lot of girl-on-girl hate going on all the time, and it was once I realized that fighting with other girls did absolutely nothing but cause unneeded stress and drama and stopped doing it that my life got better.  I feel that it is the same for The Hills.

10. If your show becomes about relationships only, instead of interests, jobs, friends, etc, it will get cancelled.
This is very specific to the show, but I think that it is transferable to real life.  If everything that you are about is whether or not you are in a relationship, if all you can ever talk about is your relationship, or about trying to get a relationship, or getting out of a relationship, your life isn’t going to be very interesting.  Even in a relationship, everyone should have their own things going on.  Be it hobbies, school, work, friendships, whatever!  There is more to life than just romantic relationships.  Lauren left halfway through the 5th season, and Kristen took over and the show was cancelled. Kristen was all about hooking up. Lauren worked, she went to school, she was a good friend, and she casually dated.  The whole show was not about the last part. It was about everything in her life.  And that show was much better.

xoxo,
Alysa
(all images from Tumblr)

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17 comments

  1. I love this post! It brought back some serious nostalgia! I personally love Kristin but I know a lot of people don’t! Haha very nice post, seriously good advice and I, being nineteen, have to remind myself of a lot of these things quite often!

    .x Robby
    http://www.primandpreppy.com

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